Vashti's Web: Griffin's Who's Who of Anybody Who's Anybody

A long, long time ago (or rather, in 2001), legendary wizard and roleplayer Griffin published a book. It purported to list everybody who was anybody on the Discworld.

Most copies were lost in the great storm of 2003, but some survived, and here, for your reading pleasure, is one.

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   (_____   GRIFFIN's WHO'S WHO of    ____)
     (_____  Anybody Who's Anybody. ____)
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          Ankh-Morpork, June 2001.

Printed 5:57pm, Friday 7th December by Goatbergers printing shop, Ankh Morpork

Copyright griffin

Introductionne

This is ae list of Anybody who's Anybody on thee Disc.
Here, you will find prominent people such as Guild Masters
ande High Priests, but also otherwise famous or important
people. Given thee rate at which some of these
positions change Handes, thee informationne can not
always be up to date. I will attempt to keep it fresh
ande crysp, if I can manage future editionnes.

If you know anybody who is anybody you think should
be included (perhaps yourself), please let me know.
In aditionne to what you provide me with, I will
'refer' to biographies for informationne. Corrections
ande suggestions are also most welcome via mail.

Thee selectionne of who is ande is not Anybody
will remain thee prerogative of thee Editor.

Many thanks to Avon, Belcar, ande especially Brighid,
Chowmein, Vermillion, ande Feantur for providing
biographical details ande suggestions.

Griffin
Ankh-Morpork, June 2001.

Aalizjiane famous Witch. Founder of the Al'Nighter family, a large
  family that she runs like a drunk matriarch. Wife of Chowmein.

Aerk the White, Hedge Wizard. Tossed into the Ankh as a baby by
  his loving parents, he bounced right into the Unseen University. Disliked
  the broken glass in food and poison of guild politics and decide to follow
  his love of nature and wander about the world, but recently settled in
  Ankh-Morpork again and became a citizen of the fair carbuncle.

Aiwendil, Senior Wizard of Mrs. Widgery's Lodgers, citizen of AM.
  Motto: "Born to Rune".

Akane, former High Priest of Pishe before she became immortal.

Alumwhistle, famous wizard.

Aragorn, famous Warrior with a long and eventful career, until he
  met the grim reaper a few times too often. Now haunts people in
  search of a way to hold a talker.

Arcane, renowned Wizard. Famous quote: "It should be legal as long
  as the corpse consents."

Aron Soulfire, 7th level Wizard of the Ancient Order of Djinn Diviners,
  currently Diplomat of the Institute of Illusory Learning. Born in the
  capitol of Ephebe, 25 years ago. His father was a rich and popular
  philosopher. Aron, although gifted with similar talents, opted
  for a career in magic. He made a very fast career among Klatchian
  wizards and rose to the ranks of the Council almost immediately.
  IIL-watchers have marked him as a rising star. Was recognised as
  official ambassador of the IIL to the guild by the Council of Senior
  Wizards in June 2001.

Asherah, famous Witch. Has a weakness for poor underprivileged
  cabbages. Citizen in AM.

Atalanta, dark-haired Lancre witch. Was discovered as a foundling near
  the Standing Stone with nothing but a blanket and a note by Gammer
  Watley. Nanny Ogg organised Lancre into raising her and after that
  Gammer Watley trained her as a witch. Now wields a sword in AM.
  Married to ArchAngel de Plainswalker.

ArchAngel, Warrior. Tall fellow with long golden hair and uncanny eyes.
  Claims to be the last of the race of Plainswalkers. Married to Atalanta.

Aurelia, famous Lancre Witch. Conceived on a cliff near Razorback and
  born nearby. Underspoken renegade during childhood. Old Mother
  Rosetwee taught her mathematics and when all else failed, witchcraft.
  Works at Tarnach Fendertwin's and is citizen of AM. Famous quote:
  "You call that cursing? In my day, we didn't even have cursing. We just
  had to swear, frequently and loudly. We didn't even have nasty swear words
  either, we had to use generic words like 'boot' and 'thingy'. Especially
  not this dictionary of cussing stuff, oh no, we never had that, we had to
  make do with thee world atlas."

Avon the Black. Once was an awe-inspiring wizard at the Unseen
  University, but has now chosen to be a Hedge Wizard, mostly out
  of suspicion for the politics of the institute.

Balwog, famous Warrior, known for teaching many people how to
  stay healthy. Old geezer that used to hang out with all the old heroes
  before a bunch of them were forced to retire. He has been around so long
  he can call Lanfear a whippersnapper. (Although it is not sure whether he
  would survive such cheek.) Squire in the Guild of Warriors.

Belcar the Green, (formerly Da'Von), former member of the Wibble
  Board and former Chancellor of the Faculty of the Wizards Guild.
  After a long break, he was stripped of his ranks and became the oldest
  student of UU. Became Hedge Wizard out of dislike for guild politics.
  Tired old man, occasionally has trouble with his false teeth.
  Entertains an amorous association with Carpanag, which the guild
  has chosen to ignore so far.

Blackheart, notorious wizard with a statue in the Great Hall of UU.
  Motto: "Hex them till they glow, then curse them in the dark".

Blarka, Lancre Witch, aka "Aunty Blarka", plump woman with a sharp
  sense of humour. Was the first Witch ever to be brutally heavied by
  the musicians guild for singing some song about Hedgehogs in AM.

Blind, Wizard, ambassador of the Inner Octagon to Assassins, appointed
  by Vygotsk.

Bremen, Wizard, former Dean of Experimentation in the Faculty, married
  to Aerin. A celebrated tutor to young students at UU, many of whom
  he taught how to cast a proper Pragi while eating a leg of lamb.
  Bestowed the wizards guild with the reinvention of the thaumometer.

Brett, notorious Thief. Had the remarkable habit of stealing people's
  trousers and then selling them back to them. Was forced to retire
  when he overdid it a little.

Brighid, the Grand Archcardinal of Pishe, a young woman from Quirm,
  pacifist devoted to helping those in need, which includes teaching
  young priests the true ways of Pishe. Former long-time High Priest,
  she now owns a shop on God St., citizen of AM.

Brindle NicMhothtan, Archcardinal and twice former High Priestess of
  Gufnork for a very long time, entirely dedicated to all things fluffy
  and deeply committed pacifist. Has married several people and enjoys
  her priestly chores. Apart from fluffy things, her main hobby is
  smithing. Former winner of Griffin's acting award. Godmother of Ergen
  and citizen of AM.

Cadderly, famous priest of Pishe, seems to have retired.

Candlewhiff, famous Wizard, his spells made him immortal.

Carpanag Wartcharmer, famous Lancre Witch. Likes to "pull up a chair and
  call the cat a bastard", which usually involves considerable amounts
  of wotchering and...tea. (She's a teatotaller.) Rumoured to have an
  association with Belcar, which the Unseen University has ignored so far.
  She denies knowing the man, but admits to a long association with Colin,
  a fruitbat. Does a good line in mocking.

Castar, famous Wizard. Short green guy with a big nose and long ears.
  Retired after a long and successful career at the Unseen University,
  for which he had a strong affection.

Choppa, a Warrior so famous he became immortal.

Chowmein, Guildmaster of the Thieves Guild since 2001, after the long
  reign of Pepsi. Was dissatisfied with both the Warriors and Assassin's
  guild and then found his home in the Thieves Guild, where, given his
  experience as a fighter, he became a mugger. Married to Aalizjiane
  al'Nighter.

Chugabolt, Wizard of sorts, spends his days swearing at students and
  insulting witches. Nobody, including himself, remembers the last time
  he went into the Great Library. Considered to be quite mad by many, but
  generally unharmful. Now lives at the Post Office in AM.

Cold, Thief, former unofficial Senior Enforcer & Quota Master. Citizen of AM.

Commando, Priest of Hat with a peculiar habit of wearing camouflage gear.
  Born on the seedier side of Khot-lip-khin as son of an AM diplomat and
  a Hattian priestess. Enrolled in the illegal local Thieves guild at the
  age of 12, but had to flee to AM. Here, Clarence d'Qta saw through his
  lack of talent and sent him to the Warrior's guild. He ended up working
  for a merchant by the name of Duncan Stunlip, but failed to protect him
  in an ambush by Herrena. Has had a long vendetta with Herrena and Clarence
  since. He was saved by a Hattian priestess and became a priest himself.
  Was High Priest twice and established the Secular Armed Services of Hat.

Crispian, famous Wizard with a statue in the Great Hall of UU.
  Wears extravagant socks and has been seen with a carrot up his nose.
  His uplifting motto was: "LIVE FATS, DIE YO GNU!!!"
  Seems to have retired, after a magic career of great fame.

Cuvian, High Priest of Gapp since March 2001.

Dagdog the Lame (formerly d'Cunning), Wizard, long time member
  of the Wibble Fund and former Dean of College in the Faculty. Joined
  UU at a very young age and had a rather mediocre career as a student.
  A series of miss-cast spells whisked him of to immortality of the Dungeon
  Dimensions.

Dcdhol, famous Assassin. Well built man with jet black hair.
  Citizen of AM. Ran for Magistrate in June 2001, but just missed out.

Ded, Warrior, owns the shop in the Warriors Guild, citizen of AM.
  Squire in the Guild of Warriors.

Demonseed, Wizard, former Magistrate of the AM Council until June
  2001, Dean of College in the Faculty, Council member of Blacklisters.

Desparil, notorious Thief.

Dionysus, Wizard. Founding member and first Dean of Liberal Studies
  of the faculty, after Ristic. Author of the Official Tutor Handbook.
  Tall, strapping figure, dressed in black robes and cloak, with an
  ominous hood. Has more or less retired and leads a quiet life.

Djan, cheerful witch from Lancre, always present where a bottle
  of scumble was put on the table and if nobody else did, she'd
  organise a good "knees up" herself. Famous for her recipes and
  potions, often involving prunes. Retired.

Dlsss, Witch of the forests, former Magistrate of the AM Council
  (did not run for office again in June 2001), owns a shop on God St.
  Lost contact with her Forestweaver family, with her cousins Twiggy
  and Kayte. Was relieved of Mother Marilla's forest priestess duties
  and traveled the forest looking for her calling, Wyrm Sword and axe
  in hand. She seems to have found her place in AM.
  Family motto: "Honor Studiumque Ante Omnia Alai".

Drayde, Warrior sister of Vermillion D'Dederidex, who found each
  other at Woo-Hung-Lin's when they were both young. Self proclaimed
  leader of the Discult, which seems to involve a lot of secretive
  chanting. Editor of an illegal magazine called Disc-Other-Weekly.
  Wanted in Klatch for the disappearance of a respectable number of
  priests of Ptooie and in Lancre for the riots at the Lancre Fayre.

Eben, famous Warrior.

Ecthelion, famous Wizard of the Ancient and Truly Original
  Brothers of the Silver Star, seventh level. Citizen of AM.

Eggjon, famous Assassin, former Guild Master.

Elaith, famous assassin.

Eldric, famous Thief. Former free-lance merchant, until the Merchants
  Guild struck back with a new line of shops.

Eron, wizard with a statue in the Great Hall, retired.
  Motto: "Show kindness to everyone, but if they don't respect the Guild,
  zap `em"

Falkentyne, famous wizard.

Fayte, famous Assassin, treacherously inconspicuous.
  Citizen of AM. Ran for Magistrate of the AM Council in June 2001,
  but came 2 votes short.

Fingertip, Senior Wizard of the Ancient and Truly Original Brothers of
  the Silver Star - and he insists on the full title. Elected in May 2001.
  Could live with only a robe, a wizard's hat and a black shell for days.

Fingil, notorious Thief. Made his fame especially by being the first
  discoverer of Khot-lip-Khin to die there. The Klatchians sarcastically
  gave him a statue for it on the Avenue of the Pharaohs. The doves love
  him. Also remembered for a particularly nasty paper cut: "The small
  blue-edged piece of writing paper dealt the death blow to Fingil."

Flurf, Wizard of the Sages of the Unknown Shadow. Short, fat wizard,
  with a beard so long he wears it wrapped three times around his belly.
  Has an eye tattooed on his forehead. Was found naked in an attic of^M
  UU during spring cleaning. When students sent him off on a joke errand
  to find 3 mumblevumbles, he actually returned with three dead
  mumblevumbles. People keep out of his way ever since. Author of
  "Vampire Nazis: 24 short stories", which is said to be on its
  way to become a cult classic.

Fortesque, famous Wizard, founder of the Octagon. Famous quote:
  "Nothing is as phallic as a proper Spear."

Genesis, Archcardinal of Pishe, famous priest.

CYABGerbil, former priest and apparently the very first High Priest Gapp
  ever had. His own clothing preferences were said to consist of a
  leather g-string, fluffy bunny slippers and a dog collar. Rumour also
  has it he was intended to marry a young Pishe Priestess when the gods
  snatched him away and made him immortal.

Greygrene Wizard of the Ancient Order of Djinn Diviners, Seventh Level,
  Low Chancellor of the Klatchian Wizards.

Griffin (formerly the Red), Wizard of the Brothers of the Silver Star.
  First Chancellor of the Faculty, author of several books on magic.
  Son of a carpenter who owned a shop on St. of Cunning Artificers.
  Returned to AM after a long period of absence from UU in March 2001.
  Citizen of AM.

Hagi, Priestess, Hierophant of Gapp. Found as a baby by Gappic Priests
  in AM. Ask her about Harry the Cornflake when you meet her.

Haplo "the Bastard", famous Wizard of the Ancient and Truly Original
  Brothers of the Silver Star. Combatant wizard, with an odd scar of
  two dragons or serpents entwined around his right arm.

Harbringer, famous Thief. Spent some time in a hashishim prison. Provides
  commercial thievery skills, understudy of Mr. Brown.

Hinge, famous Thief. Wears his long red hair in a ponytail.

Hufte, famous Lancre Witch with a mean left hook. For some bizarre reason,
  she has glued sparkly sequins to each of her warts. Set up an fund for
  Wet Hens years ago. Where to find a crystal ball? Her famous answer:
  "From a crystal man."

Ibblek, famous Lancre Witch, round young woman that can go on about
  obscure herbs and rare species of Ramtops frogs for several days.
  People prefer to avoid the subject in her presence. Citizen of
  Ankh-Morpork. Co-editor of the Green Slab. Never challenge her to
  a pun-off.

Illusori, aka 'Sori. Famous thief.

Isra, famous assassin. Young lady with spiky brown hair and blue eyes.
  Was born in a Ramtops village, where she was rescued after a fire
  destroyed her village. After her recovery, she was sold off as a slave
  and ended up near KLK, where she was tutored by her master.
  Sister of Snowpaw and citizen of AM.

JackDaniels n'Coke, Senior wizard of the Ancient and Truly Original
  Sages of the Unbroken Circle (UU), a position he obtained after a
  fierce campaign against the rule of Soxy. Founder of the Circle
  club for his order. Young guy, citizen of AM.

Jakka, very famous warrior. Seems to have retired.

Janus, Assassin, former House and Guild Master. Was succeeded by Vermillion
  who made him guild enforcer. Known as a hard assassin of great ability,
  but rather limited political talents. Was forced to retire.
  Famous quote: "Bugger that! Nipples!"

Jasmin, Assassin, editor of the Green Slab, citizen of AM.

Jhn, famous Wizard and outstanding historian of the Disc. Motto:
  "Sometimes you read the stories. Sometimes the stories read you."

Josie, Lancre Witch. Bushy red hair and sunglasses.
  Married to Augusta.

Kalister, Wizard of the Brothers of the Silver Star, former long-time
  Wibble Board member, tutor and experimenter of the Faculty.

Kana, Thief. Distracts her victims with a black mask and otherwise scant
  bits of leather garment. Born in the deserts of Klatch in the middle
  of a D'reg tribal war. Was sent to AM by her parents to distract her
  from the boys, where she found a harbour in the Thieves Guild.

Karek, former Guild Master of the Assassins Guild, when he was known
  for his dry announcements ("Come see me. That's all."), current
  Master of Viper House. Famous quotes: "The only thing that saved
  me was my Unbreakable Socks of Death." and "I Swear the Guy Was Dead
  When I Got There, Your Honour." Now runs a column in the Green Slab
  as Aunty Karek.

Katia, famous Witch. Claims to be the only "ekologikal witch" in the
  Ramtops. Which means she campaigns for lead-free petrol for broomsticks,
  recycled paper for scrolls and against one-way tea-bottles. Doesn't have
  any particular problems with red wine, though.

Kaytriz, Lancre Witch who does not like putting herself forth, but would
  be very offended if nobody else did. Tumbling black hair with
  remarkable blood red streaks. Citizen of AM.

Khan, famous Assassin, House Master of Scorpion House.
  His wrath has become proverbial.

Kissaki, Priest of Pishe, age-long editor of the Ankh-Morpork Daily,
  citizen of AM. Famous quote: "men tal note: do'nt type wjen drunk".

Kitiana, famous Assassin, Master of the Cobra House. Petite fragile woman,
  but then looks can deceive. Striking blood red hair. Has an excellent
  reputation in her guild for camaraderie and helping students. Second in
  command to Vermillion and definitely someone to keep an eye on in
  Assassin Guild politics. Citizen of AM.

Klahn, notorious old Warrior, fierce defender of the simple ways of
  a warrior's life. He used to take the point of view that the ability
  to kill was all a warrior needed. Also taught many people how to
  stay healthy in the heat of battle.

Kthala, Priestess of Sek and one of the initiators of the Sektarians.
  Born in Pseudopolis 24 years ago from wealthy family, orphaned at
  the age of 6. Left for AM at the age of 23 and joined the priesthood
  of Sek after an initial run-in with the Watch. Was active in PCDC, a
  forum that discussed and promoted the AM Council.

Lagger, notorious Assassin known for his major contributions
  to the first Guild Charter. Former Guild Master. Retired.

Lanfear, very famous warrior. She occasionally visits AM to teach
  young warrior what fighting really is. Present whereabouts unknown.
  She was the first Guildmaster of the Warriors guild. Famous quote:
  "Die like men, even if you aren't."

Lassan, famous Priest of Pishe. Likes cats. Citizen of AM.

Latazum, Priest of Gufnork, short scruffy man with a slightly deranged look.

Lobo, famous Warrior, son of Logar, the Emasculator, from whom he inherited
  the family warcry: "I'm Gonna Cut Your Tonkers Off!!!!!" A Hublandish
  barbarian who is also Squire of the Guild of Warriors. Wielder of
  Excessus, Ace of Swords. Citizen of AM.

Lolita, famous Assassin and former House Master.

Mad, famous Warrior. Citizen of AM.

Madison, famous Warrior. Citizen of AM.

Matrim, famous Thief. Slim guy with long red hair in a pony tail,
  which makes him look a little like Hinge.

Megarodan, famous Lancre Witch.

Melchior, Wizard. Tall, muscled man with long, black hair and a streak
  of white on the side. Experimenter, became famous for his studies on
  spell sizes with Noda.

Melian, Thief, former Magistrate of the AM Council (did not run for
  a second term in June 2001).

Mellandrin, High Priest of Pishe, elected on 10 June 2001 with 99 votes, after
  the exceptionally short reign of Ozzy. Beautiful blonde, but with the
  proverbial draw-backs of these looks.

Midian, notorious Thief, Marquis De Malencontri, a title reluctantly
  bestowed upon him in exchange for giving the Guild of Heralds'
  plaque back.

Mier, Wizard, former Dean of Liberal Studies in the Faculty and
 founder of TLC (The Learning Channel for student wizards).

Mimer, famous Thief. Still has a few remnants of his former profession:
  a white face with a black joker-like smile and a single red tear.

Moloch, notorious priest of Pishe, known as the kindliest raving madman
  you could ever hope to meet. Priest of the old school, which means he
  favours burning at the stake and flaying unbelievers to death.
  "So far around the bend, he couldn't touch sanity with a 10-foot pole."
  Citizen of AM.

Mordred, Wizard, founder of Taxi, member of Blacklisters. Tutor in the
  Wizards guild, where he helped Delphyon to graduate. Married to Flurble
  in June 2001.

Nard, Wizard, was Octagon ambassador to warriors but will have to lay
  low for about a year after some mischief.

Niagara, Priest of Pishe, Magistrate of the AM Council (re-elected in
  June 2001), founder of Charity Rain, Pishe's Charity Fund.

Nif, famous Wizard. Scruffy guy with a singed white beard.

Nifty, famous Witch. Tall young woman with startling blue eyes and
  long auburn curls. Or at least that is what she makes you think.
  One never knows with this headology.

Noda, Senior Wizard of the Hoodwinkers (UU), Dean of Experimentation
  in the Faculty. Claims a bizarre copyright on mooing. Cows object.

Numb, famous Priest of Gapp. Motto: "To Dress And Protect."

Nyanjen Tsa, famous Priest. Remember to say Ni Hao next time you meet.

Ocdt, famous Priest. Good craftsman. Citizen of AM.

Ochrion Nightrise, Founder and High Chancellor of the Klatchian Wizards,
  member of the Ancient Order of the Dynastic Crescent. Son of a poor
  garlic farmer in Djelibeybi, near the Tsortian border. Studied at the
  Unseen University and returned to Klatch after graduation, where he
  joined the Institute of Illusory Learning and rose to 7th level quickly.
  Organised Klatchian Wizards after most of the foreign wizards left.

Ozzy, former High Priest of Pishe. Elected June 2001, after an loud
  campaign that was not received well in all quarters. His enemies gloated
  unashamedly when he died a few days later. Member of an alcohol cult.

Paranoia, Wizard. Octagon ambassador to witches and arbitrator of
  internal affairs. Citizen of AM.

Pennywise, Wizard. Octagon ambassador to thieves.

Pepsi D'Man, former Guild Master of the Thieves Guild and also former
  enforcer of this guild under Scarlett. Brother of Harlequin, Toushin,
  Tybalt and Fright. Passed on guildmastership to Chowmein in June 2001.
  Citizen of AM.

PncessAmy d'Deridex, Warrior, Magistrate of the AM Council (re-elected in
  June 2001), cousin of Wyvyrn. With a prime responsibility in public
  relations, she is one of the more well-known members of the council.
  Famous quote: "I just hate advertising 12" stalks of asparagus, then
  you go buy them and they are really gherkins." Squire of the Guild
  of Warriors.

Poggin Ba'Nanana, High Priest of Sandelfon, elected May 2001, for the third
  time already. Fat, short, ugly, blind and smelly character. Misses a
  bunch of toes and fingers. Apparently, his birth was considered a bit
  of a miracle since he entered the corridor to the world backwards. Has
  an loving association with a Warrior called Raena.
  Citizen in Ankh-Morpork.

Primus, priest of Gapp, son of a well-established merchant of Quirm,
  converted to Gapp by a revelation and now engaged in testing fine
  clothing.

Pyretic, notorious Thief. Has had a few close encounters with the
  authorities for "being a bad boy". We won't be seeing him for a while.

Quatrocentro, Senior Wizard of the Venerable Council of Seers and former
  Dean of Liberal Studies in the Faculty, Magistrate of the AM Council
  until June 2001. Well-known geographer.

Quece, notorious Witch of Lancre, likes a sobre black attire. Highly
  respected for being very learned and helpful. Citizen of AM.

Raenne Mezumiiru, former High Priestess of Pishe until her suicidal
  resignation in the Ephebian desert in May 2001. Magistrate of the AM
  Council since June 2001.

Raigna, famous Thief.

Ranma, famous Wizard, proud owner of a statue in the Great Hall of UU.
  Motto: "You want a quote ? What's that in the old money?"

Ristic, Wizard, helped setting up the Faculty, took up several positions,
  among which Chancellor (2000), succeeded by Sandoz. Also former senior
  wizard of the Sages of the Unbroken Circle, now Hedge Wizard.
  Motto: "Noscere, Audere, Velle, y Tacere".

Rondros, famous Warrior.

Sandoz, Wizard of the Hoodwinkers, former Chancellor of the Faculty
  (2000), claims to be the thinnest wizard on the Disc. Experimenter.

Satina, Lancre Witch and long-time companion of Griffin. Retired, sadly.

Scarlett, former long-time Guild Master of the Thieves Guild.

Seethe, Assassin, sleek man with gentle eyes. Citizen of AM.

Sekiri, Wizard, former Chancellor of the Faculty (2001), tall man who
  tends to wear his hat backwards. Citizen of AM.

Sentauri, famous Witch.

Shara, famous Warrior. Young girl of about 5 years old. Walks around
  with a rag doll, sucks her thumb, and beats up people.

Sibyl, notorious Lancre Witch.

Silvara, Guild Master of the Warriors Guild, citizen of AM.

Simidh, former Guild Master of the Thieves guild, before Scarlett and
  the first one the guild ever had. Was forced to retire in a later
  stage of his career.

Skipper, High Priest of Fish, elected on 13 June 2001 with 93
  votes. Took over from Tarzan. Has a definite fishy look and
  smell about him.

Slade, notorious Thief who used to rule over the Troll's Head bar.
  Was forced to retire after taking on a few too many assassins.

Sonny, famous Thief. Citizen of AM.

Soxy, Wizard, former senior of the Ancient and Truly Original
  Sages of the Unbroken Circle, known as committed conspiracy theorist,
  known as SoXpIraCies. Had an exceptional sock fetish.

Sqeal, peculiar person who reinvented common language and
  his/its/her gender on a daily basis. Was eventually forced to retire.

Stargazer, famous Wizard. Thinks he is a starship and has included
  some blinking Christmas tree lights for effect. Ran for Magistrate of
  the AM Council in June 2001, but did not make it.

Stinine, Wizard, known as an excellent tutor. Tall, skinny man.
  Motto: "Veneficium fatum arbitratus quisque quaeque quidque,
  autem volsci arbitratus Veneficium". Reappeared in June 2001 after
  a long absence.

Strychnine, once famous priest of Hat, retired. Collected large piles
  of compromising materials on many people, including a series of
  photographs known as the Hall of Shame.

Talen the Green, famous Hedge Wizard, founder of the Council of Wizards
  and member of the Inner Octagon.

Talge, famous Warrior. Spent some time in the Wizards guild, but the
  studies gave him a head ache, so he became a fighter. Citizen in AM.

Tao, Wizard of the Venerable Council of Seers, former Magistrate of the
  AM Council (until June 2001, when he did not run for office again) and
  citizen of the mysterious city of Fluff. Manager of Tarnach Fendertwin's
  Quality Consumables. Former Board member of the Faculty.

Tarzan, former High Priest of Fish until Skipper took over in June 2001,
  tester of fishy things.

Templeball, senior Wizard of the Order of Midnight, elected as the first
  senior in his order in June 2001 with a handful of votes.

Templisk the Heroic Psychopathic Killing Machine, Warrior, obviously,
  and a massive one too, clad in impressive amounts of armour, covered
  with a layer of steel to top it off. Health teacher with a strong
  dislike for Wizards. Citizen of AM.

Terr, High Priest of Sek.

Thirsha, Lancre Witch, wears stylish black attire and has the most
  remarkable hair, the colour of witch defies all description.
  Citizen of AM.

Thoin, famous priest of Hat, former High Priest. "Of Viking ancestry,
  proud of their seamanship and skill in navigation and exploration,
  but not proud of their skill in stealing monasteries, raiding women
  and raping horses. Er. Or something."

Tirion the Deadly Assassin of Cobra House, guild enforcer.

Torche, Wizard. Octagon ambassador to Priests.

Tremene, Commander of the AM City Watch. Born in the Shades from a
  brick-layer and a seamstress (he claims one *with* a needle), about
  30 years ago. Joined the Watch after every other guild had turned
  him down for getting into trouble with important people. Tremene has
  worked hard to make the Watch a force to be reckoned with, comprising
  over 20 members. The relations with the AM Council have been difficult
  in the past. Citizen of AM and elected Magistrate in the AM Council
  in June 2001.

Tricky, notorious Assassin, was forced to retire. Legendary for discovering
  where never to put heat balm...and discussing it.
  Famous quote: "Trust me."

Trip, famous Priest of Gufnork.

Tybalt D'Man, High Priest of Hat, brother of Harlequin, Quala and Pepsi.

Ukko Risagallo the Dangerous Assassin of Scorpion House, Visconte di San
  Passado. He is a tall, well-built young gentleman with short dark hair
  and a goatee. Citizen in Ankh-Morpork.

Ulairi, famous Priest, former High Priest of Sandelfon.

Urug, famous Warrior.

Vermillion d'Deridex, Guild Master of the Assassins Guild, took over
  from Janus. Codified a new Guild Charter. Citizen of AM.

Volen (de Sade), Priest of Gapp, long-time High Priest. Talkative fellow,
  walks around wearing a tuxedo, top hat and bow tie. He has been recorded
  running around the talker channels with a buttered knife.

Vygotsk, senior Wizards of the Sages of the Unknown Shadow. In charge of
  the Octagon since May 2001. Defended the jurisdiction of Wizards over
  their guild fiercely against the AM Council in June 2001, together with
  the other Senior Wizards, to obtain full jurisdiction over UU.
  Elected Magistrate to the AM Council herself only a few weeks later.

Warrax, Cardinal of Sandelfon and known for his knowledge of all things
  sacred. Famous quote: "The new Warrax 2000 ... he hits, he crushes,
  he cures, and with a free set of steak knives you can't go wrong."
  Citizen of AM.

Wenda Parrotbringer, white-skinned Lancre Witch with long black hair.
  Has frequently disturbed the peace by running around naked and
  agreed to wear a chemise only after a good talk with Granny.
  She is rumoured to descend from the ravens of the Tower of Art
  and to shapeshift back occasionally, which made her immortal.

Wintergreen, Witch. Looks a bit like one of those new-fangled witches,
  all barefoot with flowers in her hair, but then looks can deceive.
  Daughter of Lilblue. Elected Magistrate in the AM Council in June 2001.

Ximthea Al'Nighter, famous warrior in rusty armour and second hand
  weapons. Citizen of AM. Squire of the Guild of Warriors.

Yukk, famous priest of Gufnork, one of the greatest heroes on the Disc.

Yves, famous priest of Pishe, aka "the Candle in the Night". Jolly old
  man of considerable corpulence, bald with a few gray hairs left.

Zak, Priest of Gapp, renowned for having compiled a long list of all
  known clothing.

Who's anybody in...

Ankh-Morpork: Demonseed, Dlsss, Melian, Niagara (M), Raenne (M),
  PncessAmy (M), Quatrocentro, Tao, Tremene (M), Ximthea (M),
  Vygotsk (M), Wintergreen (M).

Assassins guild: Dcdhol, Eggjon, Elaith, Fayte, Isra, Janus, Jasmin,
  Karek (HM), Khan (HM), Kitiana (HM), Lagger, Lolita, Seethe, Tirion,
  Tricky, Ukko, Vermillion (GM).

Khot-lip-Khin: Aron, Fingil, Greygrene, Ochrion.

Newspapers: Kissaki (ed.), Jasmin (ed.), Ibblek (ed.)

Priests Guild: Akane, Brighid, Brindle (HP), Cadderly, Cuvian (HP), Genesis,
  Gerbil, Hagi, Kissaki, Kthala, Lassan, Moloch, Niagara, Numb, Nyanjen,
  Ocdt, Ozzy, Poggin (HP), Raenne, Skipper (HP), Strychnine, Tarzan,
  Terr (HP), Thoin, Trip, Tybalt (HP), Ulairi, Volen, Warrax, Yukk,
  Yves, Zak.

Thieves Guild: Brett, Chowmein (GM), Cold, Desparil, Edlric, Fingil,
  Harbringer, Hinge, Illusori, Kana, Matrim, Melian, Midian, Mimer, Pepsi,
  Pyretic, Raigna, Scarlett, Slade, Sonny.

Warriors Guild: ArchAngel, Balwog, Choppa, Ded, Dryade, Eben, Jakka, Klahn,
  Lanfear, Lobo, Mad, Madison, Silvara (GM), Templisk, PncessAmy, Rondros,
  Shara, Talge, Ximthea, Urug.

Witches Guild: Aalizjiane, Asherah, Atalanta, Aurelia, Blarka, Carpanag,
  Djan, Dlsss, Hufte, Ibblek, Josie, Katia, Kaytriz, Megarodan, Nifty,
  Quece, Satina, Sentauri, Sibyl, Thirsha, Wenda, Wintergeen.

Wizards guild: Aiwendil (sr.), Alumwhistle Aron, Belcar, Blackheart, Blind,
  Bremen, Candlewhiff, Castar, Chugabolt, Crispian, Dagdog, Dionysus,
  Demonseed, Ecthelion, Eron, Falkentyne, Fingertip (sr.), Flurf, Fortesque,
  Haplo, JackDaniels (sr.), Jhn, Kalister, Griffin, Greygrene, Mier,
  Melchior, Mordred, Nard, Nif, Noda (sr.), Ochrion, Paranoia, Pennywise,
  Quatrocentro (sr.), Ranma, Ristic, Sandoz, Sekiri, Stargazer, Stinine,
  Soxy, Talen, Tao, Templeball (sr.), Torche, Vygotsk (sr.).

Abbreviations:
ed. Editor
GM  Guild Master
HM  House Master
HP  High Priest
M   Magistrate
sr. Senior Wizard