(cre) Lucifer: Right. Revol. Let's assure the gathered creators that I am not the Manchester woman last night who bit your penis.

Discworld MUD Log: Lucifer and Revol and pizza

You should probably read this log before reading this one, which tells what happens when Lucifer logged in the next day...

[27 September 2001]

(cre) Dogbolter: Hey, Luci, what's your version of the story Revol was telling
     us last night?
(cre) Lucifer: Tell me what the story is first :-)
(cre) Geisha: hmm, my command summary book doesnt appear to have anything
     written in it anymore - whats the path to clone a new one?
You creator-tell: Tell us about the pizza.
(cre) Drakkos: Pizza was involved.
(cre) Eight: do you always bite on a first date?
(cre) Lucifer: Pizza? I have had many a pizza guys, have to be more specific.
(cre) Drakkos: You little harlot you.  :-P
(cre) Dogbolter: Well, Vashti may have to help me out, but essentially, you
     gave him a blow job because he bought you a takeaway pizza, and you bit
     his penis.  Therefore, you offered to repeat it for free.
(cre) Dogbolter: Or half price, next time.
(cre) Katrina goes off to hide in a corner.
You creator-tell: It was half price.
(cre) Dogbolter: You pierced his penis with your teeth.
(cre) Lucifer: Erm, there is absolutely no truth whatsoever, and it's actually
     quite scary.
(cre) Twiggy: You've had many pizza guys?
(cre) Katrina brings a blanket with her so that she can hide under it.
(cre) Drakkos: Hrm.  His story was more convincing than your denial.
(cre) Twiggy: They're not even that cute.
(cre) Lucifer: I have no idea where that came from.
(cre) Geisha: most have seen it on a video somewhere Lucifer.....
(cre) Dishrag: If a player killed an officer, was arrested and taken to the
     AM-jail waiting room, was still paralysed when they arrived, and was
     promptly attacked by another officer who was in that room, is it a bug?
(cre) LazerFX: I'm going shopping.  BBS!
(cre) Dishrag: Log provided.
(cre) Dogbolter: Did the pizza have salty anchovies on it?
(cre) Lucifer: I have to admit, you are really scaring me now as I have no idea
     what you are on about.
(cre) Dishrag: Anyone?
(cre) Katrina mutters something about certain Lords never being around when you
     want them.
(cre) Twiggy: They have their precognition on.
(cre) Dishrag: Any AM cre be able who undertstands how officers work be able to
     help me work out if somethign is a bug?
(cre) Katrina: Just my luck.
(cre) Dogbolter: Anyone got a couple of spare roof bars handy?
(cre) Katrina: Dogbolter's finally gone Mad.
(cre) Sugi: I left them in my other pants...
(cre) Dogbolter: No, I need to put a roof rack on my car, tis all.
(cre) Dogbolter: And the nice man at Volvo will sell me a pair for 72 pounds,
     plus VAT.
(cre) Lucifer: Hehe, Volvo's are ick.
(cre) Sightblinder: Goto Halford or summat, you'll get them much cheaper.
(cre) Lucifer: Well, I guess I should start packing, leaving today.
(cre) Vashti deliberately refrains from mentioning
(cre) Kaea: Packing sucks
(cre) Katrina begins the 'no more Lucifer' dance!
(cre) Kaea: I tried to last night
(cre) Kaea teaches Katrina the 'no-more-kaea' dance too.
(cre) Katrina eeks and grabs Kaea's leg.
(cre) Dogbolter: Kaea and Lucifer vanishing together, and both moving
     house...anyone spot a rumour?
(cre) Kaea: Oh, I'll be back in a month or two
(cre) Kaea: Db.  No.
(cre) Lucifer: Erm, Revol talks about *she*. As in not me.
(cre) Lucifer: I'm going to my parents house.
(cre) Drakkos: Did you buy Lucifer a pizza at any point, Kaea?
(cre) Lucifer: I'll probably be back on later.
(cre) Lucifer: No see Revol is drunkenly talking about a woman. I am not a
(cre) Kaea: There was No Pizza involved *shudder*
(cre) Twiggy: So, if I'm processing, Revol bit your penis?
(cre) Lucifer: A WOMAN! not me!
(cre) Twiggy: Well, she certainly didn't bite a woman's penis.
(cre) Dishrag pays attention to cre again.
(cre) Dishrag: Why are we talking about women with penises?
(cre) Dogbolter: Lucifer bit revol's penis, and Revol claims he's a woman.
(cre) Lucifer: Sod off, you.
(cre) Katrina: Lucifer is a woman. I have pictures!
(cre) Lucifer: No, no you don't.
(cre) Lucifer: And many people have seen I Am A Man!
You creator-tell: Nobody here has..
(cre) Twiggy: Either Revol bit Luficer's penis, or Lucifer bit Revol's penis.
You creator-tell: As far as I am aware of course.
(cre) Katrina: Ah, an exhibitionist, then. Streaking across the uni campus,
(cre) Dogbolter: A man who shared a room with Revol at the last mudmeet.
(cre) Wyvyrn wombles off again.
(cre) Lucifer: Gawd, this is just gonna get worse, I'm going to stop
     encouraging you lot.
(cre) Twiggy: Hey, we're self-encouraging.
You creator-tell: Personally, I want to see the first half of the discussion.
              It may cast Light on matters.
(cre) Lucifer: A woman in Manchester bit Revol's penis. I am a man in
     Liverpool. It's Not Me.
(cre) Dishrag: Can someone explain this to me either in terms of pi,
     interpretive dance, or in Dishrag-sleepyterms?
(cre) Carmine does the dance of Lucifer and Revol plus pizza equals toothy fun,
     for Dishrag's benefit.
(cre) Vashti does the dance of Luci will apparently do anything for a pizza,
     for her own benefit.
(cre) Twiggy holds up a scorecard that reads "8.5 / 10"
(cre) Carmine: Woo.
(cre) Carmine admires Vashti's scoring.
(cre) Dogbolter admires Lucifer's scoring.
(cre) Twiggy: That was you, Carmine ;)
(cre) Carmine scores!
(cre) Twiggy: You're scoring on cre again?
(cre) Lucifer: Aha.
(cre) Carmine: Ooh, the man himself!
(cre) Twiggy: Wait.. did I just score with you, Carmine?
(cre) Dogbolter: Hm...Halfords want 59.99. Bastards.
(cre) Revol: eh?
(cre) Revol: ummm...
(cre) Twiggy: I hate it when I have to ask.
You creator-tell: Is this for penis biting, or something else, Db?
(cre) Lucifer: He left again :P
(cre) Dogbolter: No, penis biting is One Pizza. Roof bars are 59.99
(cre) Carmine looks confused.  I scored with Twiggy?  Fan-tas-tic.  Did anyone
     get a picture?
(cre) Twiggy: Well, that's the last time I buy anyone pizza.
(cre) Dogbolter scores with Carmine and Twiggy.
(cre) Twiggy sidles up to Carmine.
(cre) Lucifer: Right. Revol. Let's assure the gathered creators that I am not
     the Manchester woman last night who bit your penis.
(cre) Revol: what are you people doing making a very distressed devil send me
     text messages wondering what the hell is happening??
(cre) Revol: correct.... i said LUCY.... they twisted it.... sorry... DBtwisted
     it to being you
(cre) Lucifer: Db, Drakkos and others too :-)
You creator-tell: Hey, you're the one who *admitted* Luci was giving you oral
              pleasure. It's all logged.
(cre) Dogbolter: The logs show otherwise.
(cre) Carmine: Indeed.
(cre) Revol: ... which then everyone else took GREAT pleasure in joining in :P
(cre) Goldenthread worries what he missed.
(cre) Dogbolter: You had everyoine biting your penis?
(cre) Revol: hehe... it was all DB fuelled..... i'm wondering how much of the
     logs you have actually kept...
You creator-tell: Everything from when I logged in last night to when I logged
              out, IIRC. :)
(cre) Vashti looks helpful.
You creator-tell: Ah, to when you logged out.
(cre) Revol: so you also got the Lucy bit....or was that "modified"
(cre) Dogbolter: *HIS*.
(cre) Revol: ah right, yeah...thanks
(cre) Revol chuckles.
(cre) Carmine goes to lunch....
(cre) Revol: well be nice to me today please... i have a job interview in 1 1/2
     hours :)
(cre) Dogbolter: At Dominoes?
(cre) Twiggy: Repeat after me, "Would you like fries with that?"
(cre) Revol chuckles...
(cre) Revol: Dominoes make you wait 25 minutes... i told you last night
(cre) Revol: well, i don't think i specifically mentioned dominoes
(cre) Dogbolter: You're going to sit in this interview, it will affect the next
     few years of your life.  It'll will help you imporve your CV, and pay off
     you debts.  You have a suit on, I imagine, or at least a tie.
(cre) Goldenthread: not just a tie, i hope.
(cre) Lucifer shudders.
(cre) Revol: yes :)
(cre) Dogbolter: You'll feel a bit nervous, some stress....might be a bit hot
     and sweaty.  Interviews are immensely important, and very stressful.
(cre) Revol chuckles.
(cre) Goldenthread: wipe your hands before shaking anyone elses :)
(cre) Goldenthread: but not on your trousers ...
(cre) Revol: and i've got spermy pizza on my mind....
(cre) Dogbolter: And when the guy opens his mouth to speak, all you're going to
     think about is Lucifer's penis, being turned inside out, and him biting
     yours. For the price of a pizza.
(cre) Eight: remember, you're a tiger
(cre) Goldenthread: just think how many you can get from him when you're
     working there ;)
You creator-tell: Hang on. Spermy pizza? You came on the pizza before she ate
You creator-tell: This is pushing even my limits.
(cre) Dishrag vomits.
(cre) Goldenthread: you have limits?
(cre) Dogbolter: 'What do you think you can bring to this job?'
(cre) Dogbolter: SPERMY PIZZA
You creator-tell: I'm sure they're in there somewhere.
(cre) Dogbolter: 'Do you have any further questions?'
(cre) Revol: i'm lughing too much to type a proper sentance now :)
(cre) Dogbolter: Is that jism, or mushrooms?
(cre) Revol: hehe
(cre) Goldenthread: will you give me a blow job if i make a really good pizza?
(cre) Revol: make it?? i cant MAKE pizza..
(cre) Dogbolter: 'Where do you see yourself in 3 years time?'
(cre) Revol: ewww..
(cre) Twiggy: "You're sitting in my seat."
(cre) Dogbolter: With you, kneeling in front of me, Mr Quattroformaggio.  And
     it ain't real cheese.'
(cre) Dasquian: "Here, but you ain't hiring me this time"
(cre) Dogbolter: afk to the pub.
(cre) Revol: thanks God for that
(cre) Revol: PLEASE... enjoythe pub
(cre) Revol: the pub is yourfriend
(cre) Revol: oi! the log is named "drunkrevol" ... i was actually sober
(cre) Revol: oi! that log was like.... right near the end of the
     conversation... it all started off with somsone mentioning their earrings
     pierced, then i mentioned a girl on holiday who got.... aw nevermind...
(cre) Dogbolter arrives.
(cre) Lucifer: Cor,
You creator-tell: You were drunk, and you confessed that your best friend is a
              hermaphrodite in public?
You creator-tell: s/drunk/sober/
(cre) Revol: half the log was missed!!
(cre) Lucifer: Erm. Go away, I am not a hermaphrodite. So there.
(cre) Revol: the girl i met on holiday who had a clit piercing to prevent
You creator-tell: I said it was from the point I logged in. :)
You creator-tell: Two people have the full log, and no doubt it shall appear in
              the fullness of time.
(cre) Revol: ah!
(cre) Dogbolter: The girl who you paid to give you a blow job was Luci.
(cre) Lucifer: . o 0 (Let them have their fun...just nod and smile.)
(cre) Lucifer nods.
(cre) Lucifer smiles.
(cre) Dogbolter: Mouth full?
(cre) Lucifer nods.
You creator-tell: You can't smile with your mouth full.
(cre) Lucifer smiles.
You creator-tell: Er, so I am reliably informed.
(cre) Lucifer: Heh, what an impressive death inform.
(cre) Lucifer: Was the death good too?
(cre) Dasquian: do do... do dooooo do do do
(cre) Dogbolter: No, sorry, it's a nasty hack.
(cre) Lucifer: That could have been impressive :-)
(cre) Lucifer: I really should start packing, but playing DW is more fun.
(cre) Lucifer: Maybe if I ignore the problem, it will go away again.
(cre) Kaea: Belive me, it won't
(cre) Lucifer: But I want to play DW, but I'm supposed to be packing.
(cre) Kaea: Mind you, my parents are coming to collect my stuff at 9:00am on
     Saturday, and the ball I'm going to ends at 7:00 that morning
(cre) Dogbolter suspends Luci & Kaea to improve their lives.
(cre) Lucifer: Bah, no you haven't.
(cre) Vashti works on her filter for ripping cre discussions out of logs, la di
     dah di dah ...
(cre) Lucifer: I canny type the four letters!
(cre) Lucifer: Right, I should start packing and I'm going to. See you guys